.
why is everything so fucking depressing? LIKE EVERYTHING. I fucking try but I can't help but feel fucking sad and angry at everything and everyone. it's like I blame people for the things that I should've done and haven't done and it's like... I don't know what I'm living for you know. I'm just passing the fuck by. my life is fucking passing me by. I don't even feel present in my own body and my own life sometimes. I try to control things and I just mess things up even more. I feel like I have fucking ocd or some shit cause this isn't fucking normal. no one else obsesses over stupid things as much as I do. I'm just this obsessive compulsive piece of shit and nobody even has THE SLIGHTEST idea of what goes up in my head.
god.
fuck me seriously